Another great Steelers season coming

Great, as in hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahah. Holy Shit this season is going to be so awesome.

 

Weakling Maurkice Pouncey is injured again. No surprise.

This is the best. Ben Roethlisberger, a top-15 NFL QB at best, looks old and slow. People in Pittsburgh are looking at the Steelers defense as the bright spot, but they were playing the Titans, so let's not get crazy here. Speaking of defenses, the Titans were like the worst defense in the galaxy last season. Sports talk in Pittsburgh is going to be priceless on Monday. I cannot wait.

SURPRISE! Troy Polamalu injured

LOLamalu has a strained calf.  Happens every season.

Steelers fan assaults Broncos fan

Deadspin has the entire story behind this photo.  Aside from an intrastate-rivalry fight in the stands between Bills and Jets fans, NFL fans acted relatively stable throughout Week One. 

Leave it to the Steelers' entitled fanbase to kick things up a notch.  This Broncos fan was taking a picture of this fan after the Porter Pick 6, and the rest is history. 

Steelers are 0-1.

Peyton Manning embarrasses Steel Drape

LOLOLOLOL.  Peyton Manning hadn't played in like 600 days.  The Steelers were looking for revenge for Tim Tebow and Demaryius Thomas' air show in the playoffs in January.  Steeler fans were getting all excited, saying "this is our year!!"

Yeah, it's not your year.  Assholes.  "Your" team is done.  In 4 quarters, Peyton Manning laid out the blueprint for the rest of the NFL to follow on how to carve the aging and slow Steelers D.   It had been so long since NFL fans were treated to the gridiron surgeon Peyton Manning taking a scalpel and shoving it up a team's ass.  It's especially sweet when it's against the Steelers.  He improved his career record to 7-1 against the "black and gold," the one loss being attributed to Mike Vanderjagt intentionally shanking that field goal in 2006.



Steelers fans also have no sense of the bigger picture.  The game last night was a Sunday night game because of Peyton Manning.  That's all there is to it.  HE was the story last night, not your precious black and gold.

THE MANNINGS OWN DICK LEBEAU.

Steeler fans are especially butthurt this fine Monday morning.   The funniest thing is how much they are in denial.   The season is already over.  The new-look Jets are coming here to Pittsburgh this week, and the Steelers will be starting the season 0-2.  Then there will be rumors of Todd Haley and Roethlisberger not seeing eye-to-eye, and Mike Wallace will complain he's not getting the rock enough.  Troy Polamalu will encounter his annual injury.



Speaking of Roethlisberger, you can add this to the heap of games that prove he is not an elite quarterback.  As the Steelers' D has declined in recent seasons, so has Roethlisberger's performance.  It's not a coincidence.  He was able to hide behind his D for so long.  Those days are over.

Some things I particularly enjoyed...

•  Ike Taylor's lack of talent.  He is easily the only defender in the NFL who has a rivalry with Demaryius Thomas.  The receiver is a veritable nobody in the NFL, but he takes Ike Taylor behind the woodshed consistently.  Swaggin' University.  LOLOLOL.

• Speaking of which, I couldn't keep the smile off my face when the Steelers ran 9 minutes off the clock to start the second half to only get a field goal.  Manning steps onto the field, and the Steelers and their tool fans are treated to another long Thomas touchdown almost immediately.  Manning does what he wants when he wants against Lebeau's defenses.
• Steelers fans are whiners. Was at a Pittsburgh bar for this game and was periodically checking my phone.  Every holding call in this game last night was 100% legit, but don't tell Steeler fans that.  They are so out of touch with reality, it's comical.
• Steelers defense has no playmakers.  Troy Polamalu was elite in his prime, but his style of play has taken its toll, as injuries have become a yearly occurrence.  He still has the raw athletic talent and instincts to make a good play every now and then, but he is riding into the sunset.   Meanwhile, Ed Reed has had longer staying power.  I used to consider them equal talents, but Ed Reed has taken over Polamalu the last two seasons.
• Loved listening to my co-worker Steelers fans' water-cooler discussions this morning.  Their entire days are ruined!  Get over it.  You didn't even play in the game.  You watched it on your Panasonic HDTV in your living room and then you went to bed.  Move on.
• The talk shows in Pittsburgh after a Steelers loss are legendary.  The recordings should be in the Library of Congress.  Yinzer faggots calling in to explain what the SteeLOLers did wrong and what they should have done differently.  You have no grounds to say what they should or shouldn't be doing.  You have nothing better to do than to call in to a radio show and complain?  Take care of your kids or do the dishes.  The Steelers don't care about you.

That's all for now.  I may have something later in the day after I take in all the Steelers sports talk.

 
Tracy Porter.

Terrible Towel spotted during DNC

Look at this idiot.

Pittsburgh journalist rightfully predicts Steelers loss against Denver Broncos

Dejan Kovacevic from the Trib in Pittsburgh has a wakeup call for all the Steeler moron fans expecting a win this weekend in Denver.  It's not going to happen.  Kovacevic predicts the Broncos' rush to be too much for that Steelers' bullshit offensive line.  27-13, Denver.

The best Big Ben injuries

Everyone on Earth who isn't a Steeler fan knows plain as day that Ben Roethlisberger is a drama queen.  Anytime he takes any kind of a hit, he starts limping or flexing his elbow to show that he's tough and wants to stay in the game.  Then when the Steeler defense holds the other team to less points that Ben manages to score, the Steelers win the game and Big Ben is seen as a "blue-collar QB" who battles through pain and injuries to bring home a W.  It's all horseshit.

I wanted to take a look back at some of Big Overrated's pussy injuries.   And by "some", I mean all of them.

2004 -- In his rookie season of 2004 where he "managed the game" while the Steelers' defense won every game, he took a beautiful shot to the ribs courtesy of Terrell Suggs.

2005 -- On a Monday night, Ben took a shot to his left knee and had to leave the game.   It's probably the only legitimate injury Roethlisberger has sustained in his entire career.  What an idiot.

Later that season, he injured his knee against Baltimore and missed three games.  That injury isn't depicted in the picture above, but that Bart Scott hit always makes me LOL.

 2006

This was when Big Ben's douchebagosity started seeing the light of day in Pittsburgh.  During the offseason, he got into a stupid motorcycle accident then missed the first game of the season due to appendicitis.

A handful of games into the season, and Roethlisberger was down again.  This time in Atlanta. LOL.  It was his second concussion of the season.  Then he was too proud to sit out the following week, where the Raiders humiliated the Steelers and Ben in the Black Hole.

2007
Ben was relatively injury-free this season.  No surprise, considering he was looking for a contract renewal.

2008 -- Surprise!!!  Big Ben "battled" through a separated shoulder in the first half of the season only to "reaggravate" it in a game in Washington. Wah-wah-wah.  Roethlisberger decided he was healthy enough to play the following week against Indianapolis, where Peyton Manning showed him what an elite QB is made of.

Later in the 2008 season came one of my favorite Ben moments.  He took a shot to the head against the Browns then acted paralyzed on the field.  They had to bring a stretcher out, and then he did the cliched "thumbs up" to the crowd.  "Steeler Nation" was beside itself as Big Ben was taken to the hospital.  Two months and change later, with some help for the refs in SBXLIII, Roethlisberger weaseled his way into another SB ring.

2009 -- This was pretty funny.  The Steelers were horrible this season.  Ben suffered a concussion in a loss to Tyler Palko's Chiefs.

2010
This season was full of laughs, as well.  First, Big Ben had to serve a 4-game suspension because for whatever the hell happened in Georgia.



Then he broke his foot in Buffalo.





Then my Ravens beat the shit out of him, breaking his nose.


2011
Big Ben broke his thumb in some bullshit game then sustained a high-ankle sprain that he played through the rest of the season.  He was too proud to sit out, and his performance cost the Steelers dearly, especially since the aging defense was showing signs of fatigue.  It all culminated in the hilarious loss to Tim Tebow and the Broncos.

2012
Roethlisberger had a slightly torn rotator cuff when the Steelers reported to camp this past summer.  No surprise there.


Looking forward to what 2012 has in store.

Hot Steeler hater of the day

Pretty little liar fans are just like steelers fans.
— Michaella Radich (@mich_rad) August 29, 2012

babe

Idiot Steeler fan tattoo

Deadspin posted this Tuesday morning.  It is an epic fail!

Good Morning

Ike Taylor hahahhahahahhahahhahhahahhaha

Embarrassing Steeler fan tweet of the day: 8/27 @ku5hton

We search #steelers everyday on twitter because you just can't ignore how dumb steeler fans are. If you want a good laugh and a reminder of how fucking stupid Steeler fans are we encourage you to do the same.

Here is todays tweet:

We? Is J Reid on the Steelers? Nothing is more embarrassing than when people refer to a pro sports team as "We."
And that is actually why Puff Daddy's tweet here is number one today.

SMH.

Mike Wallace doesn't want to be a Steeler

"Steeler Nation," a group of individuals that holds a bathtowel in higher regard than the United States flag, is waiting with bated breath today as rumors about Mike LOLace showing up to camp circulate.

What these idiots don't realize is that he's showing up just so he can make some money this year then leave at the end of this season to join a team that isn't going downhill.  About a month ago, the Steelers reportedly offered him a lucrative contract that he in turn declined.  THERE'S YOUR CLUE, DICKWADS.  He will not be wearing the "black and gold" at this time in 2013.    The sooner Steelers fans realize this, the better off they will be.  But Steeler fans don't think rationally, so it's not worth trying to explain it to them.

At work this morning, I had to overhear at least a dozen Yinzers in my office mention that "Wallace takes the top off the defense."  They heard some dick analyst on ESPN use this phrase, and now it's all the rage when talking about Mike Wallace.  Classic Steeler sheep fan mentality.

Larry Fitzgerald has more talent in his armpit than Mike Wallace will ever have.  Fitzgerald would have a SB ring if it wasn't for the tilted field in SBXLIII against the Steelers.

Steeler Skank of the Day

Oh, here's a good one.  It has everything you can ask for.  The photo was taken in some ground-level apartment in McKees Rocks.   She's sporting the Terrible Towel as a skirt because that makes sense.   Combined with the eskimo boots, this girl is well on her way to getting a train run on her by Yinzer douchebags wearing Alan Faneca jerseys.

The Terrible Towel sucks

 

Thing holding a soaking-wet towel after the 2004 AFC Championship Game.

Pretty sure a lot of people know the story behind the Terrible Towel.  Basically the Steelers used to have a color commentator until he died.  He was Myron Cope.  He didn't bring any knowledge of football to the broadcast, spoke in broken sentences, and just made up words as the game went along.  So basically he was the ideal broadcaster for the Pittsburgh Steelers' fanbase to get behind.

According to Wikipedia, the Terrible Towel has its roots in the Steelers' Steroid Run in the 1970s, and it is steeped in Myron Cope's bullshit:

Two weeks prior to the Steelers' first playoff game of the 1975 season, the team's flagship radio station WTAE's Vice President and General Manager, Ted J. Atkins, and President of Sales, Larry Garrett, explained that they needed Cope's assistance in inventing a "gimmick" in order to attract sponsors to his daily commentaries and talk show. Initially, Cope did not want to participate, saying "I am not a gimmick guy, never have been a gimmick guy." However, after Garrett's suggestion that a successful gimmick would be good leverage for a raise in Cope's upcoming contract renewal, Cope replied, "I'm a gimmick guy."

Steeler fans can take solace in the fact that the puke-yellow washrags they twirl around are the result of Myron Cope wanting more money for himself.



The rest of that Wikipedia entry has loads of more information, including an entire section devoted to other teams and fanbases knocking Steeler fans down a peg by defacing the towel. But, of course, a Yinzer wrote the Wikipedia article because apparently there is a "curse" surrounding anyone who desecrates the Terrible Towel.



Get fucking real.  Only Steeler fans would think that even inanimate articles of fabric are pulling for the Steelers to win.


 
 Here's that piece of scum Hines Ward waving the Terrible Towel on Dancing With The Stars.  This was before he got his DUI that was swept under the rug.  More on Hines Ward later.

Give me a fucking break

 

Jesus Christ

Hopefully that dog ran out into the street and got hit by a car after being humiliated like this at the Walmart Photo Center.  It's the most merciful thing God could've done.

 

Steelers fans' entitlement when it comes to officiating

If you're over the age of 15 and if your parents have done at least a respectable job of raising you, you realize that there is no bias when it comes to officiating in professional sports.  You've been alive long enough to have seen calls go both for and against your favorite team.  There is the rare occurrence when it blatantly looks like an officiating crew is conspiring against your team in a specific game, but it is all a case of coincidence.

Don't tell Steelers fans this.  Every Sunday in the fall, expect to hear piece of shit Yinzers complaining about a league-wide conspiracy any time the Steelers get a holding penalty.   No, asshole.  The holding penalty was called because the Steelers committed a holding penalty. 

Now that I'm thinking about it, I think a review of the horrible officiating in Super Bowls XL and XLIII is in order.  The Seahawks and Cardinals were robbed point-blank.  Every NFL fan outside of "the 412" saw it.  All Steelers fans saw was the "horseshit holding penalty" that earned the Cardinals 2 points on a safety which led to a go-ahead score late.

For the sake of this blog, I will definitely be going to local bars for Steelers games this fall and plan on documenting every retarded thing Steelers fans say.  I will also have Twitter at my disposal.  This will be the greatest NFL season of my life.

Drew Magary, I salute you

A perfect example of how Steelers fans think they are above everything else related to the NFL happened just recently.  Drew Magary of Deadspin had a running feature where he would blast the shit out of every NFL team and their fanbases.    Each one had been funny and each fanbase took their lumps and moved on.  Everything was going smooth.

But then, holy shit.  It was the Steelers' turn to face Magary's wrath.  Members of "Yinzer Nation" (and I'll talk about that whole stupid thing in a later post) read Magary's "Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Pittsburgh Steelers" and they LOST THEIR SHIT.  None of these assholes realized that Magary was doing this for every fucking team in the league.  Steelers fans undoubtedly enjoyed Magary's trashing of the Ravens and Browns, but they couldn't face the music when it was the Steelers' turn.

How bad did this get?  It drew so much angst from the Steelers community that Pittsburgh radio host Mark Madden (who's the only tolerable sports personality in Pittsburgh) decided to bring Magary onto his radio show to discuss it.  But it wasn't to confront him about it; it was to applaud him.

U gotta read Magary's piece on Steelers/Steelers fans at Deadspin.com. Ull hate him, but that duznt mean its not AWESOME.
— Mark Madden (@MarkMaddenX) August 17, 2012

Madden loved the piece and agreed with every point made in it.  Here's Madden's blog post about the Magary article.  As a professional sports journalist, it's Madden's job to report on sports, showcase a liiiiitttle bit of hometown bias, but ultimately remove himself from the sporting world and opine on what he sees.  He has probably wanted to say what Magary said for a long time.

No one cares that you have season tickets

As I've mentioned, I live and work in Pittsburgh, so I am assaulted daily by co-workers and casual friends talking about the Steelers.  Don't even get me started when it comes to Facebook.  Does every fucking status update have to include something about the Steeler game you're going to this week?  NO.

If you know someone in Pittsburgh who has Steelers season tickets, prepare to be reminded of that fact at least 5 times a week.  It's used as some sort of social standing in Pittsburgh, only that non-season-ticket holders don't care.  They laugh at you behind your back because they know the Rooney Family is putting it up your butthole.

Dumb Steeler fan of the day

It came as no surprise this offseason when Mike Wallace decided to hold out to get a new contract.  In his eyes, if he's gonna continue playing for the Steelers, they're gonna have to pay him a lot of money just so he can bear it.  There's been a lot of rumors circulating as to whether or not Mike Wallace will report to the team in time for the season.

Thankfully, Steelers fan Brett is on the case:

@wallace17_dakid - Thought you were reporting to #steelers this weekend? What's the word?
— Brett Kostoff (@kostoff2) August 27, 2012

Yeah, Brett.  Mike Wallace is going to announce his intentions to a no-name lemming like you on social media.

Pissed off Steeler fan of the day

  

Vintage Steeler fan women here. Eight beers in, 40 pounds overweight, and at a bar.

Keep drinking bitch.